What the Hell is Going on?
A baseball poem.
Well I don’t mind the pitch clock, and I don’t mind them limiting visits to the mound
I don’t even mind the ABS, and I like that they overturn bad calls when bad calls are found
But when I tune into that TV, and see that energy drink’s logo on the wall
I wonder aloud to the entire bar: “What the hell is going on?”
I finally got me some tickets for my family and me to see our home team play
I brought my entire family’s appetite to that long hot summer day
I walked up to the concession stand excited to quench our thirst
To my dismay I found out 4 hotdogs and 4 sodas are more expensive than a Porsche!
I walked away disappointed. I walked away feeling conned.
And I wondered allowed to the entire stadium: “What the hell is going on?!”
“At least I can enjoy the game at my house,” I said to myself with a determined grin
My team was playing my coworker’s team, and we were looking for our 10th straight win
I sat down at my couch. I turned on my TV
I scrolled to the right channel, and I expected it to be free
How stupid?
How dull?
How braindead could I be?
To expect watching my hometown team on hometown TV to be free?
“Well” I say to myself,
“I guess I’ll get MLB.TV.”
“$149.99 is actually a pretty good deal.” I lied
And handed my credit card over as happy as I could be
I logged in to MLB.TV, and I scrolled to my team’s game.
I couldn’t wait to win this one and rub it in my coworkers face.
Only one problem:
I clicked on my team’s game only to find that it was geographically blacked out due to my proximity to my hometown’s stadium!
How stupid?
How dull?
Am I even paying attention at all?
How unreasonable for me to expect watching my baseball team on MLB.TV (which I now pay for) to be possible this summer and fall!
“That’s a totally separate app,”
Google says to me.
“You need the dedicated direct-to-consumer streaming service, offering in-market, no-blackout viewing for $89.99/season!”
Ohhhhh!!!!!!
How stupid?
How dull?
Have I lost all sense of reason?
Obviously I need the dedicated direct-to-consumer streaming service, offering in-market, no-blackout viewing for $89.99 to watch my team this season!
The next day I walked into the office and then I walked into the break room
My Yankee coworker was drinking his Yankee coffee after my team went to his city with our brooms
“Wow man your team sucks,” I said as a joke
He agreed and I told my story about my TV watching woes
After some brief discussion and some baseball hem and haw
We agreed upon one thing: Neither of us have any clue what the hell is going on!
MUSICAL CODA